心情札記

1。感謝上帝！我和“yh”的遊戲玩完了！玩了一個月。當初我對主說，若這只是一個遊戲，可以不要與我的份嗎？但是，他say no! 這都是因爲二哥。。。若不是他，我不知道會發生什麽事。但是，每每想到他，我都很想哭！反而二哥鼓勵我說，萬事都互相效力（羅8：28）！既然過去連最壞的事情我倆都經歷過了，還有什麽是主不能成就的呢？在這事上，我倆學習“靠主更深”，也把我倆靠得更近！感謝主，讓我可以過囘平靜的日子。。。

2。下個星期五（28/8-31/8）要去馬聖休閒中心參加以聖舉辦的青年營，好期待哦！這是一年一度唯一的機會可以和其他福音堂的弟兄姐妹聚會交流。好懷念以前在以聖學校讀書的歲月。這次將會是個讀書會，從何傑的文章“靈命觀”探討何為靈性。這次營會的講員包括鈡今旺傳道，郑盛光传道，邱君尓弟兄，等人。

Michael Jackson - "We are the world" (with lyrics)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2W4-0qUdHY

Michael Jackson - "Earth Song "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYSoZPuPmNw

Michael Jackson - "Heal The World ! " (With Lyrics)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2y1pE3yn6M

12/4/09梦

昨晚（12/4/09）我发了一个梦。梦中，我生病了。期间，母亲无微不至地照顾我。我对妈说，“妈，我不要生病。”妈说：“要对上帝有信心，他会医治你。”“我知道，但我对医生没信心。”过后，医生给我打了一针（针长十公分），然后我睡了十多个小时。
生病期间，妈带我去不同的地方玩、见朋友。有好多人关心我、安慰我，让我觉得很温暖。
以上所记都是真的‘梦过’。是因为我起身后，拿了纸笔记录下来。我知道，不记下来的话，当我睡着再起来后，肯定会忘得一干二净。

也许是因为过去受过的情绪伤害（？？），我以前很常会梦到一些“极度可怕的梦”，而且是一直重复的，想要醒奈何却醒不过来。举例说，梦到我被人追着打；梦到自己无路可逃，就从高楼跳下来；梦到自己要逃开众人，就选择飞在空中。。。每每总要从梦中哭醒，然后又再睡着。多年以后，这些梦越来越少了。对过去这些不愉快的经历，我一直选择压抑和不提（也许童年经历造就了我如此的性格。）如今我相信，上帝渐渐从我内心深处，作医治的工作。（我相信上帝的医治是彻底的！但问题是我自己愿不愿意接受。接受医治、磨炼、改变。一切）尤其是在母亲离世之后。（

如今，我这性格却也带来坏处。我生病时，多选择不看医生。自己解决。我相信上帝会医治我，只要还没到最后一步。（若是有一天，自己真的拖到没有办法了，要走最后一步 -- 入院或乖乖接受治疗，一定会被医生骂：“为什么拖了这么久[延医]？”[回答自己：“我是极端主义者！不相信医生。又要花时间、花钱、花精神。我现在要作的事情多得是。万一真的好不了，最多是早点回天家，跟父母团聚。嘘、！ 这些话不可以告诉医生。”] ）（笑！愿上帝怜悯我的执著。）

玉佩于 18/11/08 的分享(英文) Sharing

Isaiah 40:29-31: (The Bible For Today version) The Lord gives strength to those who are weary. Even young people get tired, they stumble and fall. But those who trust the Lord will find new strength. They will be strong like eagles soaring upward on wings; they will walk and run without getting tired.
From this Bible verses, it encourages me whenever I feel tired or want to give up, being family problem, or any other problem that might worries me, God tells me that He promises that He would not leave me alone, He is my God and my strength. When I looked back to the past, i know that God is such a faithful God, He is so reliable and I would never trust in other God other then Him. Sometimes we feel so helpless and nobody is able to help us, but then we forgot that Jesus Christ is the one that always pray for us whenever we are in trouble or feeling down, because Jesus is our intercessor.
When we feel worry, tired, etc..., just remember, God will carry us through, and when we feel we really can't walk anymore, He is the one who holds us in His arms, the footprints became His and not ours.
(Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.") I remember that after my mum passed away, just about 2 months, one church member (sister) had a dream and she shared with me. She said, in the dream, there are 3 people: herself, my mum and me. My mum's face looked so pretty and really different from how she looked earlier. She was talking to us. Although until now, i still don't know what sister 'heard' /seen in her dream, but i give thanks to God and i believe that God will keep His promise about my future.
I thank God for His promises and plans for me. His promises are so true to me, irregardless of any circumstamces happened in my life. And, i also want to thank all teachers for the prayers, cares and support. You are all like my angels that God has sent in my my life and light up my life. May God bless you all!
后记：我是一个来自传统教会的女孩，曾经很抗拒灵恩教会的方式，“害怕”他们用方言祷告。上帝却带领我到神召会工作，听校长的祷告，和她从神那儿得到的‘vision’, 让我得到很大的鼓励和信仰上的肯定。有时候，神迹不一定看得见，“神迹”就在我们的心里，是因为上帝藉着我们如芥菜种子般的信心，印证在我们心里！我们在这个没有信仰逼迫的地土长大，都太舒服太幸福，以至于不懂得珍惜。。。有机会应该去中国看看，看那儿的信徒是怎样在逼迫中“受挫却没被打倒”，继续成长。

玉佩于5/7/08的分享（英文）Sharing with colleagues

Psalm 46: 1-11, Thessalonians 4: 13-18, Job 19: 25

1. Praise Him,

I want to praise God for His unfailing love and grace upon me . He really taking care of me and never leave me alone. (Psalm 31:1-24:)

2. Work in TSC (How I get to know this kindergarten and work here)

I started working here in January 2003. Before that , I studied LCCI in year 1997. Then I worked in different places; in factory, bible seminary, kindergarten, temporary teacher. Then, in year 2002, I went to study in a Bible school in Seremban for one year .

In fact my study was supported by my church , because I got applied for church sponsor, every month my church gave me RM300 allowance for my study . That’s why I was thinking after I complete my study , I want to help in the church. So I just prayed for it, but I didn’t tell anyone especially my church deacon member or elders. I only told to God. Then , during the term break in September 2002, I came back to Klang. As usual, I attended church service (Chinese worship), after the service, one of the church elder (deacon) came to me and said “Geok Pei, I want to talk to you”. He said “Geok Pei, if you think you want to work in the church, it is not possible, you are not allowed to work in the church, go other place and work.” That time I was very shock, because I never thought that he will talk to me like that, so direct and straightforward. Because I never tell to anyone that I wish to work in the church , I only tell to God. But through this incident, I know it is God’s will. Somehow I have to submit to God and tell Him to lead my way.

Later in November 2002, I had a short holiday & came back to Klang. My elder brother working in MBS Klang , his colleague told me that their noticeboard had a vacancy notice (Tadika looking for a clerk). So I asked for the tadika’s contact number and typed my Resume then I pass to Ms. Rina, she’s a MBS staff also and she was a Glad Tidings church member. She help me to pass my details to the principal, (that time was Sister Siew Beng). Later I received Sister Siew Beng’s call for an interview. Then, after I finish my study in Seremban, in final week of December 2002, I went for the interview and got the job. She asked me to come in January first day when the school reopen on 6^th January 2003.

I was quite happy and thank God that I have been offered the job. After enjoy my December holiday and the Christmas. Supposed 6^th Jan. is my first day to work. But on the 5^th that night, I fell very sick. I woke up at 11pm something and whole body sweating, and high fever,. After that, my second brother (that time my elder brother was in Sabah) and my mum brought me to the Klang G.H. We were waiting in emergency department for few hours . In between got people sent to hospital with injury from accidents. I was feeling very cold and tired and started lying in my mother’s lap. After that my brother take care of me because my mum said she ‘s very tired cannot tahan already, so she slept for a while. We waited until 3 o’ clock then finally were able to see the doctor. After gone home, I took the medicine and sleep until the next morning, get up, called sister Siew Beng , informed her that I am very sick and cannot go to work. Actually inside my heart I think that, “Maybe it is not God’s will for me to work in Tadika” , I think I want to quit already , because first day work already sick and absent. But sister Siew Beng told me , ‘you can rest at home in the morning, but you must come in the afternoon ’, I think ‘Ha! I still need to come, ’ Although I was really not willing to come , yet finally I came also, and I had a good time with Sister Siew Beng, she shared with me and also prayed for me . Then she tell me that I can go home and rest, provided that tomorrow must come to work. So I went home and had a good rest. Actually I took few days to fully recover from the sickness but I really thank God because at that time, my mother, my second brother really take care of me. I pointed out this because it is a never-forget memory in my life.

I feel very happy working in the Tadika, always think that this is not merely a school but it is a God’s ministry for all of us. When we serve the parents, the children or staff, at the same time we are serving God also, and I believe that one day God will give us the reward if we serve him faithfully. Actually before I come for this interview, I didn’t even pray very hard for it, because I thinked that I wanted to work in outside company , because I also have an accounting diploma, I thought I want to find a job in Audit company or work as an accounts clerk. But somehow God didn’t open the way for me and ‘because my mum’ encouraged me to apply for this tadika’s job, “o.k. loh I apply loh ” . That time I think if I cannot get this job, I can still go for other options, find a job in other organizations. But, Because of my mum I didn’t go for other interview .

(After 2005 ) I Thank God, if that time I really want to quit, I won’t be in Tadika today. Thank God that He also provide our needs, now my elder brother still working in MBS Bible Seminary and second brother working in Kepong Methodist church (started from March). And also thank God that He gives me a chance to study in Wawasan Open University taking distance learning course, and I have just completed one year of the program. After my mum and dad passed away on 12/10/05; 17/1/06 , I miss my mum very much , I always cry and ever think that don’t know how am I going to continue the days of my life because I was very closed to my mum, she is the only one that really understand me and listen to my problems, my cry and prayed for me everyday. Yet I experienced many people care and love for me , example my second brother, church members, my relatives, and teachers , even my second brother is the one that really taking good care of me. It make me feel that, I am not lonely in the journey.

The most important is that, I have a God – Jesus Christ that is always there for me, He hears my problems , my cries, I can full rely on Him and trust Him because He is trustworthy. He is Forever-Living God, He love me very much and died for me two thousand years ago, forgive my sins and rise again after 3 days, thereafter He never die ! He says He’s Abraham, Isaac, Jacob’s God, He’s my mother’s God and He is also my God. I love one memory verse in Job 19: 25 says “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God.” 1st Thessalonians 4: 13-18 also gives me the hope , it says about second coming of Jesus Christ , it gives me a hope that someday I will meet my parents again – in the heaven and we will live with God eternally. So I would also like to encourage all of you to continue to live our lives with God’s purpose , and God will award us for being continue walking with Him faithfully. Thank you.

WALKING WITH JESUS,

WALKING EVERYDAY,

WALKING ALL THE WAY,

WALKING WITH JESUS,

WALKING WITH JESUS ALONG.

WALKING IN THE SUNLIGHT,

WALKING IN THE SHADOW ,

WALKING EVERYDAY,

WALKING ALL THE WAY,

WALKING IN THE SUNLIGHT,

WALKING IN THE SHADOW ,

WALKING WITH JESUS ALONG.

WHEN I REMEMBER HE DIED FOR ME ,

TO THE WORLD I WILL NEVER RETURN,

WHEN I REMEMBER HE DIED FOR ME,

TO THE WORLD I WILL NEVER RETURN.

NO ! NO ! NO NO NO!

TO THE WORLD I WILL NEVER TURN BACK,

NO ! NO ! NO NO NO!

TO THE WORLD I WILL NEVER TURN BACK.
后记： 每当我回想起5/1/2003生病的那段经历时，我会认为，“那是撒旦的攻击。”若是我在当时真的被“击败”的话（因为我认为是主的意思不要我去幼儿园工作），也许我的经历就要完全改写了。感谢上帝！他保守“我的脚未曾滑跌”，他是一位信实的上帝！愿一切尊贵荣耀都归于他！啊们。